| FRANKENSTEIN Makes a Sandwich | 4 |
| THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON Doesn’t Wait an Hour Before Swimming | 8 |
| THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Can’t Get “It’s a Small World” Out of His Head | 9 |
| THE MIDDLEWICH WITCH-WATCHERS CLUB A Club Sandwich Which Watches Witches | 10 |
| AN OPEN LETTER FROM WOLFMAN’S BEST FRIEND | 13 |
| THE INVISIBLE MAN GETS A HAIRCUT | 14 |
| THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Still Can’t Get “It’s a Small World” Out of His Head w/a White Wine Vinaigrette | 16 |
| COUNT DRACULA
Doesn’t Know He’s Been Walking Around All Night with Spinach in His Teeth | 17 |
| THE MUMMY Won’t Go to His Eternal Rest Without a Story and Some Cookies | 18 |
| THE YETI DOESN’T APPRECIATE BEING CALLED BIGFOOT | 20 |
| IF THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Can’t Get “Pop Goes the Weasel” Out of His Head HE’S GOING TO FREAK OUT | 21 |
| THE LUNCHSACK OF NOTRE DAME | 22 |
| DR. JEKYLL and MR. HENDERSON’s Five-Alarm Chili | 24 |
| ZOMBIE ZOMBIE | 28 |
| NOW THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Can’t Get “The Girl from Ipanema” Out of His Head | 32 |
| THE DENTIST | 33 |
| THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
Is Considering Giving Up Music and Doing His Haunting Somewhere Else | 37 |
| BIGFOOT CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CALLED HIM YETI JUST NOW | 38 |
| GODZILLA POOPED ON MY HONDA | 39 |
