How to Surf Space and Time
A Short Training Program
1.
If you are feeling miserable and your life seems pointless, don’t worry – this is a good start.
2.
Reduce your food budget to almost nothing, and limit any other luxuries (heat, clothing, etc.). This will help you lose your attachment to the physical world.
3.
Spend as much time as possible on your own.
4.
You may want to adopt an alias that reflects your new identity. Ariel simply changed her last name to Manto. Play with anagrams and see what you come up with.
5.
Favor your mind over your body. On this program you can smoke, drink, and have unhealthy sex – but make sure your mind is alive. Test yourself regularly with contemporary philosophy!
6.
Try this exercise: For a week, give up skepticism and treat every “fact” you come across as if it is true. Try to believe in everything.
7.
Follow this with a week of believing in nothing. Does it make any difference? Make notes on your observations.
8.
If you find a cursed object, hold it close to you: Often, curses are portals into other worlds.
9.
If you do find a way out of this world and into another one, don’t turn back.
10.
Ask yourself whether you are prepared to die to get to the truth. If the answer is “no,” then bad luck. It’s probably too late for you anyway.
11.
If you fall in love while on this training program, realize that whatever bad things happen to you will now happen to both of you.
12.
If a mouse gives you a set of instructions, make sure you follow them.
13.
But if you ever see the void, choose this over anything else.
Fact:
All uniform motions are relative to one another, except the motion of light, which is absolute.
